A Shift in Perspective
In the realm of tantric sexuality sessions, our understanding and beliefs can undergo significant transformations as we dive deeper into this spiritual and sexuality domain. I've experienced such a shift myself. Initially, I believed it could be beneficial for female clients to engage in tantric massage or experiential sessions with male practitioners.
However, after acknowledging my mistakes and engaging in deeper contemplation—questioning many previously held assumptions and integrating new information—I immersed myself in studies related to trauma-informed practices, consent, and power differentials. After consulting with experts in the field, collaborating with a supervisor, and completing an accountability process, my views have evolved. I now believe that, especially for women at the beginning of their tantric massage journey, opting for experiential sessions with a trauma-informed female tantra practitioner can provide a more holistic and empowering experience.
The Importance of a Female Practitioner
Learning How to Create a Safe Space
For women venturing into the world of tantra, comfort and safety are paramount. Engaging with a female tantra practitioner often provides a sense of ease and relatability that can be essential, especially during the initial stages. A female space inherently carries the nuances and shared experiences of being a woman, setting the foundation for a more empathic interaction.
Moreover, learning how to create a safe space for oneself is an essential skill, and a female practitioner who has done the necessary 'work' both personally and professionally is uniquely positioned to offer this kind of support. Through a trauma-informed and consent-based approach, she can guide her client in developing the knowledge and skills to establish safety. Importantly, this is a collaborative approach that fosters dialogue, feedback, and mutual respect, thereby cultivating personal autonomy (the freedom to make your own choices) and agency (the power to put those choices into action). Such empowerment goes beyond the immediate experience and offers lasting benefits for a woman's tantric journey and overall well-being.
Focusing on Healing
With a female tantra practitioner, the focus can shift solely to the individual's healing journey, free from the complexities that might arise when engaging with a male tantra practitioner. This environment provides a clearer path to address specific concerns like past stressors, emotional hindrances, or other deeply personal and sexual matters that limit autonomy, agency, and the free flow of energy. Emotional hindrances may include unresolved issues or suppressed emotions that have been impeding one's overall wellness and could benefit from a nuanced understanding to facilitate healing.
Developing Essential Skills
Autonomy and Agency: Working with a female practitioner can provide an opportunity to learn about one's own body and sexuality from someone who shares similar anatomy and possibly, similar experiences. This can be empowering, granting both the autonomy to make well-informed choices and the agency to confidently act on those choices in a manner that is more attuned to one's sexual self-esteem.
Communication and Boundary Setting: Another invaluable skill that can often be honed more comfortably with a female practitioner is the art of communication, particularly in establishing and expressing one's needs and setting and maintaining boundaries and limits. These skills are critical in tantric practices and extend to every aspect of life.
Is There a Place for Male Tantra Practitioners?
This is not to suggest that male practitioners are without a role. However, my current stance is that transitioning to a male practitioner might be more advantageous once a woman has gained a foundational level of comfort, personal autonomy, and agency through her initial sessions with a qualified female practitioner. Once she feels confident and well-equipped in her tantric exploration—meaning she's comfortable and informed about what tantric practices entail, understands her boundaries, and can effectively communicate her needs—she may find value in experiencing the different energetic dynamics that a male practitioner may bring. These could include contrasting styles of guidance or unique perspectives on tantra that may be informed by the male experience.
The Triad Model: A Collaborative Approach for Tantric Experiential Sessions with Male Practitioners
For women who are considering extending their tantric experiences to include male practitioners, a triad model can offer a structured and supportive transition. In this approach, the woman collaborates closely with her initial female tantric practitioner or another health professional she trusts. Together, they assess her readiness and suitability for engaging in experiential sessions with a male practitioner.
This assessment can be based on various criteria, including her level of comfort, autonomy, and agency, as well as her specific session goals and any concerns or limitations she may have. Once it's determined that she is ready, the female practitioner can collaborate with the male practitioner in crafting a tailored session plan. This plan would be designed to align with the woman's goals and to provide a consistent and supportive environment that facilitates her continued growth and healing.
By utilising this triad model, a woman can benefit from a multidisciplinary approach that combines the strengths and insights of both female and male practitioners. This way, she can better be supported in her journey, ensuring that her experiential sessions are both fulfilling and empowering.
Guided Transitions Selecting the appropriate practitioner is an essential step in one's tantric journey. Initiating the process with a female practitioner can offer a myriad of benefits that extend beyond the immediate session, contributing to personal growth, self-awareness, and empowerment. When these elements are firmly established, an individual is empowered to make a more informed choice—whether to continue with female practitioners or to venture into experiential sessions with male practitioners. Such a decision can then stem from a place of confidence rather than uncertainty, setting the stage for a mindful, fulfilling, and transformative tantric experience.